My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
