ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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