Define "chronic" masturbator.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
