Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
