She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When are your genitals available?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
