hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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