last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's great music for shaving your balls
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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