My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
