this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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