Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
