the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
