Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
