Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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