I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
