Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
