i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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