i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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