If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
