I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
