Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
