They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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