so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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