i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
