you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
