Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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