i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
