I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
