i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
