Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
