Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
