Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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