Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
