so explain again why im purple
no
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
