I'm laying in your front yard are you home
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
