come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
