HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
