there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
