Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
