They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Terrible idea I love it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
