Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
