last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
