I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
