The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
