so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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