Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
