Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
