Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
