If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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