Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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