I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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