So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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