I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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