my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
